It’s not the nineties anymore.

Parenting in 2022 can feel like a constant struggle of learning to deal with strange behaviors and outbursts of emotions. The new trends, new rights, new wrongs, new technology can all be overwhelming when trying to teach children to learn through play. When I was growing up, back in the 80’s and 90’s of course ‘things were simpler.’ We all say it when we get older.

But we did have the benefit of learning through play and not through observing.

Have I become old and judgmental? Am I holding on to how I grew up, and in turn, wanting that for my children, and not being realistic about what times we live in?

Kids create the future that many of us are afraid of. Often we want to stay in the safety of the past, and not let go of our ideals. But what is the worst thing to happen if we do let go of these ideals?

The world may not fall apart. Our daughters may not desperately wish to create an Only Fans account because they were exposed to the over-sexualization of women online from a very young age.

Our sons will not always wish to shoot up a school because they played violent video games.

So where is our fear stemming from? Is it truly for ourselves of a changing world? One we cannot control for our children.

The environment constantly changes and the quicker we can learn to adjust and grow, and let go, and change again, well that is not only how we survive, but thrive. When we are not attached to our ideals and judgement of how the environment should be for our children, maybe they can thrive too.

Attempting to limit children’s excessive exposure to mass information and over stimulation is where we can jump in. The constant lure of the bright colourful screen, the pinging of notifications, its all an addicts playing field, and it is targeting our children.

How do we allow for our children to keep up with the times and become digitally clever and creative with content? But also minimize the harm under the hypnotic spell of their designed manipulated algorithm.

First of all can we identify the harm?

Rage, addiction, anxiety and comparing, all before their brain is developed, that is harm that we are fearful of. Let’s acknowledge it, instead of being afraid of it. Let’s keep these open conversations about how a distorted reality can be on display online. And the double edge sword? Bullying. If children are not exposed to the online world early enough will they be bullied for being digitally behind?

We have to find the balance, like with anything in life. We have to teach our children about standards, and reality vs ego.

Online is a minefield of ego. Whether it be gaming or social media. Constant exposure to ego can be very unhealthy.

When I talk about standards, I mean healthy beauty and visual standards. Filters; do not use them. This is unhelpful for our children.

Let’s make that change, and normalize real life for ourselves. We cannot get rid of social media. We are entering the metaverse. Let’s control what we can and ride the wave of realism in a world that is created to be fake to sell.

Let’s reduce our screen time, our ego posts, our addiction to the hype and the lure of the hypnotic screen.

Let us keep it real.

I believe I myself need to accept that we are not raising children in the 1990s. We are here in 2022 with a whole new set of problems that need facing.

Face first; Our own media addiction.

Face second; There is a dark side of life. From my own book “Free” published in 2017 I wrote “As a parent, you become oversensitive to everything. Every news article makes you weep, further confirming the world as evil. Your job-to keep your children safe- seems harder. The responsibility of parenting can become overwhelming and daunting. There are so many things that could go wrong in this dangerous world. You want to stay inside and wrap your children in love (and cotton wool). Just like a roller coaster, you must get on, hold on tight, and fill your heart with a little bit of hope, for life without risk is no life at all. You cannot hide away and never go on the roller coaster; you must not live in fear.”

Its the fear of the unknown that prevents us from accepting the new. Like anything in life the online world will have its horror. But, its not going away, we must adapt, and navigate this new world willingly, yet, responsibly, and most importantly without fear.