Can we reject the negative 9 to 5 narrative?

Notes from Fiji time.

A recent trip to Fiji reminded me of the constant negative narrative that can be installed in us in big city life. What’s different about the islands from our Western way of thinking I wondered? 

Landing advice by the locals is always to slow down. The laughter is constant. A way of life. To us; perhaps an indulgence. 

Within the general hustle and bustle of 9-to-5 life is this constant nagging feeling that we must be doing more.

From the second we wake up it’s there. The rush. In the morning school lunches are a rush, to get to school, there’s a rush to get to work, there’s a rush to get home, there’s a rush to get to the supermarket, there’s a rush to get dinner on. Even at the weekends, there is a rush to get to sporting activities, the gym, brunch, everywhere.

As soon as you step foot off that plane into the stuffy, blissful, wet heat of the islands there is a warmth that doesn’t just come from being supine to the sun. The heat and lifestyle may force us to slow down, but it’s not just the heat and the fact we are on vacation that slows us down. It’s the smiles from people that have learnt to be happy on very little. But we are on holiday, right? Of course, we are going to be happy. But why leave relaxation and happiness just for the holiday? In Fiji, they say ‘Fiji time ‘it’s about slowing down. Getting to know one another and most importantly ourselves. Feeding the soul and starving the ego. When we are actively relaxing what are we actually doing? Well, we are not complaining.

This negative narrative in our busy society is a huge theme that bogs us down. We’ve got negative news, negative community pages, negative emails, negative work dramas, and social media comments. Road rage, dog park rage, etc. There are a lot of negativities we are exposed to. And then there’s time. Everything we do has to be done based on time.

Feet in the sand watching the sunset, not worrying about time. This is nourishing the soul. But why don’t we do this at home? 

Driving around in a fancy car, in a corporate suit, feeding the ego, trying to maintain an image that fits into this mould of society would seem kind of silly there. Inauthentic. Less free? Those silly status symbols and social rules and restrictions melt away at the raw beauty of a sunset, we are left with nature and us. Taking it all in, this life, the moment. I guess this notion of being present in the moment gets more and more lost as we move forward and technology becomes our main source of life. The lifestyle of a busy person allows no room to just be. And yes, the islands have their dark side, like any part of society. Crime, corruption etc, and efficiency; are often not a priority. Are they merely selling something too I wonder? Is this an illusion of happiness and friendly ‘bulla’s’ for us, the tourist? The money maker. Perhaps. But one thing they do know over there is how to be in the moment. We busy city folk can forget just how to be when we are constantly attached to the idea of getting shit done and condemning laziness. 

There’s nothing wrong with being busy for some people it is, of course, a very successful way of running a business, it is in the word! But at the end of the day what is the point in constantly having to be here near there and everywhere, when we are never really anywhere, not in a moment, enjoying time because we are stuck to the idea of how the future should be. Whether that be tomorrow or further away. And instead of using our past as our navigator to guide us through the rest of our life we can kind of hold onto a lot of resentment and guilt and bad feelings and use it in a negative way, which is not what our past is meant for.

We are not meant to cling to our past to further our negative feelings. We are actually meant to just use that as a navigation tool for the future. Not getting stuck in this seesaw of clinging to past ideals or worrying about future outcomes. This also robs us of our time, our moments, our being. 

If we are capturing things on film or wanting it to look a certain way or wanting to manipulate the appearance of events or situations so it can appear to improve image, is it really genuine? and I’m not saying you can’t take pictures of things because I have over a hundred thousand pictures on my phone so I very much enjoy taking pictures it’s like it’s one of my true hobbies I love capturing everything, like a diary; so when I scroll back it gives me a happy memory. Even the sad memories comfort me. They all tell a story. Being true to a moment is one of the most important things we can do. Not abusing a moment by thinking about a different moment. It’s harder than we think to be genuinely present in a moment without having any conditions. Without it being conditional on our past life for future life. Giving each moment our new energy and without those pre-dispositions of a prior moment like that before was occurred and then we’ve got to think about how we’ve been conditioned by society to treat a moment.

Being pushed to allocate time for things that shouldn’t be constricted by time. Hanging out with mates even has an allocated time?! A spontaneous moment of pure joy will often not come in an allocated time. An unconditioned joy that’s not planned out is getting harder to reach. Is the only time in our busy society when joy occurs is when we are being irresponsible and getting wasted?

There is always something keeping us from experiencing true joy, and I think that is where this negative narrative of society, is so deeply entrenched in our conditioning by society. We are aware of very little when it comes to how we have been conditioned and shaped and moulded and developed. We perhaps believe we are living our own lives and doing what we want to do, but the constant cycle of repeated routine via a timeline allows for limited joy. Special moments that you spend with your kids formatted into time slots are not that special for them. Modern-day society leaves little imagination. Technology leaves our 3D imaginations getting less and less nourished. Why would we bother to create something or make something or engage in something that is not going to be documented, or manipulated for purpose, sale or image? Why engage in imagination when the constant dopamine hit from social media satisfies. 

The metaverse, is this the way of the world? Must we accept the death of 3D imagination? Can we stop this machine from rolling on and on and on and restricting our time and attention even more? This online addiction which we know is happening but continue to indulge in because it’s so damn satisfying an absolute dopamine explosion, how can we escape the constantly colourful controlled algorithm?

Maybe we cannot escape it. But we absolutely must find a balance. In terms of human history, this is all new. We have to find a balance like we have had to do with everything else over consumed. Anything in excess is bad, our past has taught us this. In life balance is order. We are balanced on an axis in space merely to exist. Finding balance is what humans must do to survive. And to continue to survive, we must find the balance between real life and tech life. I see people everywhere staring into their phones when they are in the presence of other human beings, this is not balance. It’s out of whack, skewed, and not sustainable. Not a sustainable way for humans to continue to interact with each other.

It’s hard to compare on social media when you’re staring at an idyllic sunset. But we all know the dreaded hit of the ego gram, when we aren’t feeling a hundred percent, full of self-doubt, or low confidence or in the midst of a negative self-talk session, going online just amplifies these feelings. And instead of manipulating our time or categorizing our time in routine, now we are absolutely just wasting our time. We need to be more careful and purposeful when we are feeling a little bit down, looking after ourselves and caring for ourselves is the main thing we can give to ourselves, and not do things that will make us feel worse… I know that’s human nature and we can drink, eat or scroll obsessively, falling into our bad patterns or attachments over and over.

But do we have to engage? Do we have to always believe? Consume?

The negative narrative? The time narrative? The competitive narrative?

Maybe we could just take a break.

The social media machine is created to make us feel crappy because that’s the machine of society that’s how the machine works. Everybody’s social media is an image, we are all trying to sell something. Whether it is to ourselves, or others. Ego is constantly being nursed. Image is constantly being sold online. It is human nature to compare, but you know it’s also human nature to connect in 3D. So why not do that? If you are really looking after yourself and being compassionate and kind, maybe disengage. With the machine, the clock, the routine, the ego. 

Take a holiday at home today. Forget the constraints of time for a while and move on to Fiji time!